Top Ten "Off" Things about Barcelona

I've realized after looking over the past few days' posts that I've given Barcelona a very glowing review on the whole. The city deserves this assessment for a lot of reasons, but I don't want to give the impression that everything here is perfect. There are certainly a lot of things that are a little "off" here -- enough so that Rashmi and I put together a top 10 list.

10. The Language Problem -- Barcelonans' Spanish doesn't sound like any other Spanish. People tend to speak at 1,000 mph and swallow their words while their at it. But on top of that most Barcelonans prefer not to speak any Spanish at all, but instead choose Catalan, which is a mix of French and Castillano and sounds vaguely Eastern European. Thus, the language has made navigating the province a real challenge.

9. The Smell -- Barcelona has its own unique odor, which is something of a mix of fish, garbage, and stale water. Mmmmm . . .

8. Grafitti -- Nothing is safe from grafitti here, not even churches.

7. Crazy Nationalism -- As mentioned earlier, there is a strong independence movement in Catalunya. At a time when all of Europe is trying to come together, these nationalists, strangely, are fighting to wrench themselves apart. This sentiment has inspired some highly annoying acts, such as masked protestors stoping a Metro car for an hour.

6. Nonsensical Shirts in English -- English is cool over here. Nearly everyone we've met can speak some English, and often you'll see people wearing shirts written in English. But those shirts don't always make sense, as you can tell from the picture. Fans of the picture will enjoy this website.

5. Men Wearing Capri Pants and Purses -- I could believe the capri pants, but when I saw a man with a purse I was truly, truly stunned. No girlfriend was sighted to help explain this oddity.

4. Catalan Food -- One of my high school history teachers had a sign in his classroom that read something to the effect that in heaven the lawmakers are British and the cooks are French and in hell it's vice versa. Well, those British cooks are easily bested (or is it "worsted?") by their Catalan rivals. A great traditional meal here might consist of salted sardines and pigs feet followed by squid cooked in its own ink. To her credit, Rashmi has been incredibly brave at the table.

3. Height -- Walking about Barcelona, Rashmi and I feel like Jonathan Swift in Lilliputia. That is, people are very small here, both in height and weight. Once in a while, however, you'll catch a family walking by where the men are all over 6'5'' and the women are not much further off, and without exception that family has been German. They must be putting human growth hormone in Germany's water because I've never seen such large people.

2. Smoking -- Spanish people like to smoke . . . everywhere. At lunch you'll see people eating with a cigarrette in one hand and a fork in the other. People smoke on the trains, in stores, in churches, and at the pool. If you like to smoke, this place is your Valhalla.

1. Mullets -- Somewhere along the way, Spaniards never got the message that mullet haircuts haven't been cool since . . . well, I guess they've never been cool. Otherwise stylish looking men sport mullets, women sport mullets, and even young children sport mullets (see photo). It's as if Moses unleashed a plague of mullets on the entire country.